I left Friday with my daughter and mother-in-law and drove to Silverthorne, Colorado (a little over 2 hours away) for my daughter's gymnastics meet. She had to be there at 8:30am on Saturday morning so it is tradition for the team, and their families, to go up on Friday night and have dinner together.
Yesterday we all (including my parents), celebrated Father's Day at my in-laws. I hope my kids realize how special it was to be able to celebrate Father's Day with their daddy as well as both grandpas. Here are a few photos from the day:
|My dad on the far right, my father-in-law next to him, and my |
mother-in-law, and brother-in-law trying out a new gazebo cover
Breakfast: My morning shake
Snack: Roast beef (2 slices)
Lunch: 2 Eggs, 4 small link sausage
Ate at Village Inn when we got to Silverthorne. It was 3:30pm but we were not going to be eating dinner until 8:00pm so we ate a late lunch.
Dinner: 3 bites of seafood chower (split a small cup with my daughter so we would try it); hamburger without a bun, about 8 fries
Out to eat at the Dillion Dam Brewery with the gymnastics team
Breakfast: Hard-boiled egg, 2 sausage patties, english muffin with peanut butter
Free breakfast served at the hotel
Lunch: Wendy's hamburger, about 8 fries
Had to eat on the road while we were driving home
Dinner: 2 Pork carnitas tacos with cheese
My husband had smoked some pork shoulder during the day and when I got home we made tacos with it
Breakfast: My morning shake, 1 small pancake
My kids had made my husband a Father's Day breakfast and I ate one small pancake (no syrup) while I sat with them
Lunch (See note below): Pork ribs, cheesy hashbrown casserole; green salad; snicker apple salad (3 bites)
Dinner (See note below): Pork ribs, cheesy hashbrown casserole; snicker apple salad (3 bites); macroon cookies
Ok - so lunch yesterday is when things turned upside down for me. My mother-in-law had us over for Father's Day lunch and she is an amazing cook. Everything she makes is wonderful and mouth-watering. I know that and go there prepared to only have a bite or two of each item. Yesterday's lunch was BBQ pork ribs, hassbrown casserole, salad (with dressing, mandarin oranges and sugared almonds), snicker apple salad, rolls, fruit, cookies, and ice-cream. Can you tell where this story is going?
I knew I had to be very careful so I got 2 ribs, about 1Tbsp of each of the items (no roll) and no dessert......yet :( I was hungry and wasn't really sure how to handle this. We always have great conversations when we eat at their house and so we tend to sit at the table for an hour or more. And.... we were there about 6 hours total. About 20 minutes after I had finished eating, my plate was still in front of me, and I still felt hungry (or was I - or did my cravings just kick in after eating carbs/sugar)?? so I went back for seconds.
When dessert time rolled around, even though I had told myself when I had gotten there that I would be skipping dessert all together (or a few bites at the most), I no longer felt strong. And I can tell you that once I ate the carby lunch, my resistance fell and my cravings picked up. I have been so aware of my lack of cravings for carbs and sugar because I have really been paying attention to what I eat and how it makes me feel. I ended up eating a small dish (about 1/4 cup) of ice-cream with marshmallow topping. I no longer felt strong! :(
When we got home and dinner time rolled around, I wasn't super hungry but "craved" the leftovers that had been sent home with us. I really had no excuse for not eating a BFC friendly dinner because I was now in my own house that is stocked up with BFC friendly foods. Anyways, you know what happened, right? I got into the leftovers and ate some more ribs, potato casserole, and snicker apple salad. Then the bag of macroons (which also came home with us) was sitting on the counter so I decided to have 2. Such an irrational decison that I honestly know I would not have made had I not been eating so many carbs/sugars because at this point I was no longer hungry. I know because I have been at many functions in the last few weeks and have been able to resist. And actually not even resist, because that would mean I have been tempted. What I mean is that I have barely even felt any "cravings" or desire. If I keep my sugar and carb levels in check, I do not even want to eat those types of sweets - they don't even appeal to me and I am happy with my BFC desserts. After two macroons, I decided to have two more (they were super small - about the size of a quarter - but still!!!). Oh, and on a side-note, I slept terrible - sweat all.... night..... long. I swear my body was trying to sweat out all the junk I had eaten!!
I am up a couple of pounds this morning and feel like I am retaining alot of salt. I plan to stay on track this week AND treat the weekend just like any other weekday (M-F). I hope a week from this Friday to see the fruits of my labor (which isn't really a labor at all since I am happiest and most satisfied when I keep my carbs and sugar levels in check).
I almost debated changing my weigh-in day to Monday to keep me honest over the weekend but then realized that eating well over the weekend is something that I must learn how to do. And all that it would cause me to do is to feel "free" to eat the way I want the night of whichever day I end up weighing in on. Does this make any sense?
So, even though I have a weight-loss goal in mind, it's not all about the end-result for me. It's about the journey. The journey that's getting me ready for the way I will and can eat for the rest of my life. In the process I am learning so much about my relationship with food and how high-carb/sugar foods are like a drug in my body (I get strong cravings and make irrational decisions). In the end, I view this as a process - a small failure that will ultimately help me be successful in the long run!! :)
Have a great day ~ See ya tomorrow!! :)