Monday, June 18, 2012

Father's Day Weekend (Week 9 ~ Day 4)

Hello friends!! 

I left Friday with my daughter and mother-in-law and drove to Silverthorne, Colorado (a little over 2 hours away) for my daughter's gymnastics meet.  She had to be there at 8:30am on Saturday morning so it is tradition for the team, and their families, to go up on Friday night and have dinner together. 

Yesterday we all (including my parents), celebrated Father's Day at my in-laws.  I hope my kids realize how special it was to be able to celebrate Father's Day with their daddy as well as both grandpas.  Here are a few photos from the day:

My dad on the far right, my father-in-law next to him, and my
mother-in-law, and brother-in-law trying out a new gazebo cover
Over the weekend, here is what I ate:

Breakfast: My morning shake
Snack: Roast beef (2 slices)
Lunch: 2 Eggs, 4 small link sausage
Ate at Village Inn when we got to Silverthorne.  It was 3:30pm but we were not going to be eating dinner until 8:00pm so we ate a late lunch.
Dinner: 3 bites of seafood chower (split a small cup with my daughter so we would try it); hamburger without a bun, about 8 fries
Out to eat at the Dillion Dam Brewery with the gymnastics team

Breakfast: Hard-boiled egg, 2 sausage patties, english muffin with peanut butter
Free breakfast served at the hotel
Lunch: Wendy's hamburger, about 8 fries
Had to eat on the road while we were driving home
Dinner: 2 Pork carnitas tacos with cheese
My husband had smoked some pork shoulder during the day and when I got home we made tacos with it

Breakfast: My morning shake, 1 small pancake
My kids had made my husband a Father's Day breakfast and I ate one small pancake (no syrup) while I sat with them
Lunch (See note below): Pork ribs, cheesy hashbrown casserole; green salad; snicker apple salad (3 bites)
Dinner (See note below):  Pork ribs, cheesy hashbrown casserole; snicker apple salad (3 bites); macroon cookies

Ok - so lunch yesterday is when things turned upside down for me.  My mother-in-law had us over for Father's Day lunch and she is an amazing cook.  Everything she makes is wonderful and mouth-watering. I know that and go there prepared to only have a bite or two of each item.  Yesterday's lunch was BBQ pork ribs, hassbrown casserole, salad (with dressing, mandarin oranges and sugared almonds), snicker apple salad, rolls, fruit, cookies, and ice-cream. Can you tell where this story is going?

I knew I had to be very careful so I got 2 ribs, about 1Tbsp of each of the items (no roll) and no dessert......yet :(  I was hungry and wasn't really sure how to handle this.  We always have great conversations when we eat at their house and so we tend to sit at the table for an hour or more. And.... we were there about 6 hours total.  About 20 minutes after I had finished eating, my plate was still in front of me, and I still felt hungry (or was I - or did my cravings just kick in after eating carbs/sugar)?? so I went back for seconds. 

When dessert time rolled around, even though I had told myself when I had gotten there that I would be skipping dessert all together (or a few bites at the most), I no longer felt strong. And I can tell you that once I ate the carby lunch, my resistance fell and my cravings picked up. I have been so aware of my lack of cravings for carbs and sugar because I have really been paying attention to what I eat and how it makes me feel.  I ended up eating a small dish (about 1/4 cup) of ice-cream with marshmallow topping. I no longer felt strong! :(

When we got home and dinner time rolled around, I wasn't super hungry but "craved" the leftovers that had been sent home with us.  I really had no excuse for not eating a BFC friendly dinner because I was now in my own house that is stocked up with BFC friendly foods.  Anyways, you know what happened, right?  I got into the leftovers and ate some more ribs, potato casserole, and snicker apple salad.  Then the bag of macroons (which also came home with us) was sitting on the counter so I decided to have 2.  Such an irrational decison that I honestly know I would not have made had I not been eating so many carbs/sugars because at this point I was no longer hungry. I know because I have been at many functions in the last few weeks and have been able to resist.  And actually not even resist, because that would mean I have been tempted.  What I mean is that I have barely even felt any "cravings" or desire.  If I keep my sugar and carb levels in check, I do not even want to eat those types of sweets - they don't even appeal to me and I am happy with my BFC desserts. After two macroons, I decided to have two more (they were super small - about the size of a quarter - but still!!!).  Oh, and on a side-note, I slept terrible - sweat all.... night..... long.  I swear my body was trying to sweat out all the junk I had eaten!!

I am up a couple of pounds this morning and feel like I am retaining alot of salt.  I plan to stay on track this week AND treat the weekend just like any other weekday (M-F).  I hope a week from this Friday to see the fruits of my labor (which isn't really a labor at all since I am happiest and most satisfied when I keep my carbs and sugar levels in check). 

I almost debated changing my weigh-in day to Monday to keep me honest over the weekend but then realized that eating well over the weekend is something that I must learn how to do. And all that it would cause me to do is to feel "free" to eat the way I want the night of whichever day I end up weighing in on. Does this make any sense? 

So, even though I have a weight-loss goal in mind, it's not all about the end-result for me. It's about the journey. The journey that's getting me ready for the way I will and can eat for the rest of my life. In the process I am learning so much about my relationship with food and how high-carb/sugar foods are like a drug in my body (I get strong cravings and make irrational decisions).  In the end, I view this as a process - a small failure that will ultimately help me be successful in the long run!! :)

Have a great day ~ See ya tomorrow!! :)


  1. Kim,
    I am sorry that you didnt do so well :( but you are not the only one, so please don't feel bad, well.. how can i say it.. don't feel lyoure alone in this journey and the bombs in the road. I too had a bad non bfc weekend and today i will be doing my weigh-in. I tend to sabotage myself even when i know it and already feel like crap, i still go for more non bfc foods. I am my own worst enemy and we just need to find our own best friend deep inside us who is rooting for us to win. We got this, lets just keep pushing and pushing!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement Ashley.... Yes, can and will do this! :)

  2. Hey Kim, the reality is this "junk" isn't going away. We are going to have to learn to face it/deal with it for the rest of our lives. Maybe you're right that this is just another lesson to be learned on your "journey". It's only a minor set back and you're right back at it so good for you :)

    Like Rosalie, I've been heavy most of my life and I don't know why this time is different for me but it is. I really do feel "empowered" by the knowledge of insulin/leptin and my body’s reaction to changing what I eat. I choose not to eat things that will sabotage my efforts and I have no idea where this "will power" came from. I wish I could share it with you but I guess we all have to find it within ourselves.

    I read this quote today and I loved it - I have no idea if it fits this conversation or not but I'll share it anyway :)

    "Your body is a mirror: It reflects your choices, your priorities, your habits, your attitudes and your quality of life. If you don't like your body, be willing to change the way you are living."

    I wish you a wonderful week!

    1. Thanks Trina!

      You are so right - the "junk" will never go away - we have to learn how to deal with it. I honestly don't mind little learning experiences like this because they will help me in the long run. Just praying I learn from them and don't repeat them over and over again.

      I am so happy for you and that this time is different and working for you. I love reading your blog and watching your momentum build and build.

      Love the quote - very fitting - thanks for sharing!! Have a wonderful week as well! :)

  3. Here's some advice from Amber (I stubled on it today) ... it sounds like good advice from someone who's been there and done that ;)

    1. Fabulous advice from Amber!! I love this post of hers!! Thanks for reminding me of it.

  4. Hi Kim, Boy you had one hell of a day huh? Maybe the next time you do a family thing like that - just ask ahead of time if they could have something BFC friendly for you. Save you a couple ribs with no sauce, salad separate-no dressing, and so on. I do that when we go to Hubby's moms house. It really helps.
    Today is a new day - Forgive and move on. Don't worry about the 2 lbs. They will be gone in no time. :-)

    1. Thanks Rosalie!
      Yes, today is a new day and I am so totally back on track.

      I keep adding to my list of possible set-backs from the experiences that I've had so far. Usually when I got to a function I can find atleast a few items that I can eat. I was ok eating a "small" amount of the things served - that is until the carb cravings kicked in alittle later because of what I had eaten. UGH! I will definently be more prepared next time because of this experience. Thanks for the great suggestions. Yes - today is a new and wonderful day! Thanks for reminding me of that :)

  5. I'm sorry. :( I'm in the same boat as you. I had a horrible eating weekend as well. Hugs. Apart from the food, it looks like you had a wonderful time with your family.

    1. Thanks Daisy! I did have a wonderful weekend with my family. Hugs being sent back your way as well!! :)

  6. Just get up, dust yourself off, and move on! You did better this time than last time, right? I have learned that I can't just have a little bit. I have to choose to have none. Once I started periodic short fasts, it helped with appetite a lot. Because once you really know what it feels like to be hungry and not eat, it's a lot easier to say know to just wanting to eat.

    1. Great advice Dawn!! Isn't that the truth - we really need to be able to recognize real hunger... and to not eat out of boredom, habit, bullying, etc.

      I'll have to check out some information on periodic short fasts. I had read about that on Mark's Daily Apple but have never done one. Thanks for the reminder Dawn.

  7. Can I move in to your in-law's house? The lake right out the window? I love it! Is that your little girl? My gosh she is the cutest thing! About the bad food, well I think we've all done it at some point. As long as you don't let it derail you and you got back on track today I don't think too much damage was done. Picnic food is hard to resist! It really looked like a beautiful day!

    1. Thanks Beth! It was a beautiful day ~ I loved spending it with my family!! Yes, the little one is our youngest daughter and our other 4 kids are the ones fishing on the dock with my husband (their daddy).

      Yes, the lake is wonderful - I would love to have that view every day (But, I have to go to their house to get it) :)

      Thanks for the comment - Have a great evening.